First, I could only cry when I read your message. Camille, you can never know how very much this means to me. This is the best Christmas gift I've ever had. I can only hope Paul will give his permission for me to contact him. He may not have been my father in the end, but I always loved him as such. He was such a kind man to my siblings and I. Carol was like the big sister I never had. She was so beautiful. I have photos of her in her graduation dress or confirmation dress - it was white with a red ribbon around the waste. Paul was my younger brother's Godfather and both he and Carol were there when Chris was baptized...my own father not surprisingly absent. My mother kept all his letters until she passed away on Thanksgiving Day 9 years ago this year. I've been searching for Paul all this time. My mom told me many times she really never ever loved another. She remarried twice after my dad and both men treated her terrible. My first step-dad was an alcoholic and wife abuser. He beat my mom. The second step dad only wanted my mom to himself and ensured he put a wedge between her and her kids. I got the worst of that and it created a big riff between my mom and I for many years. He later had several affairs and did so while she was dying. Paul, he treated my mom like a queen. He was gentle with us kids. Once, my brothers had played with his flashlight causing the battery to run down. My mom told Paul he could administer whatever punishment he felt was fair. They lined us all up (three of us). Each of my brothers got a whack on the behind. When it was my turn, I didn't understand why I was being punished. Instead, he gave me a "love tap" and I was crying so hard, he just held me and hugged me. I knew I loved him right then. Later that day, he took my mom and me to a park for the evening. It was moments like this that made him a hero in my mind.
When he was forced to give my mom up (his folks didn't think a good Catholic boy should be with a divorced woman wtih four children - a sign of the times), he put my mom and us kids on a train and sent us home to
Washington state. My mom cried nearly every night after that. I think her loneliness pushed her to men that didn't care a darn about her. She gave me the engagement ring he gave her for a graduation gift. At the time, I had a boyfriend who I allowed to talk me into selling it. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't wish things were different. The ring was about a 1/4 carat diamond with a brushed finished band. I could never bring myself to tell my mother about what I'd done to that ring. I knew it would kill her.
As you can surmise, Paul played a big part in the woman I have become. He taught me kindness, compassion and not to be judgemental. He fully accepted us as children and we him as a father figure. I loved Carol for being the big sister I never had and always wanted. Their parents were also very kind to us. My first July Fourth Celebration was at their house where we sat in the front yard and watched a big parade. So many good good memories. He deserves to know that one person can touch many lives.
Thank you so much
Camille. You've done a great thing and have given the best Christmas gift ever. Laurie
